life.....and sometimes death
ok.....there are a few things on my mind today that i need to get out so this blog may not have any type of a real flow......and may make no sense to some.....
i heard from stephen today and i was very happy in being able to do so......but then in the conversation that changed quick.....not in a bad way, but in a way that made me realize just how blessed i am.....and how sooooo many more of us (military wives/girlfriends/husbands/etc.) are to.....but it also made me notice how much of whinny babies we can be at times......
yes, it sucks that the phones go down at times.......and yes it really sucks when we dont get to talk to them......and the thing that sucks the most is that they have to be there in the first place....however, in some way or another, we all knew what we were getting into when we put ourselves in the lives of a military person.....so with all that being said, i guess i can move to my next train of thought.....
recently, there was a time frame of like four days when we heard nothing from our deployed ones......i am guessing that several of the wives freaked out and had the frg call down range to see why.....unless this is your first deployment, you should know that it happens at times.....and as soon as the phones are back up, they will be calling again.....(now to my story, and i am not sure if this is how it would happen.....this is what i think would)
its a normal day, well as normal as can be....work, family, kids, friends.....all the things that we do to keep ourselves busy during a deployment......the day has come to a slow close and while getting ready to rest for the evening, the phone rings....its an od call....just to make sure that you are home......within an hour there is a knock on your front door.....
peeking out the window to see who the unexpected visitor might be, your heart immediately skips beats and you become weak in the knees......knowing the worst is about to happen, you refuse to open the door.....if you dont open it, they will go away and it wont be true......
persistant ringing draws you back to reality......you gather yourself, the best you know how......smooth your hair back from your face and clear your throat, which is growing closed with every breath......all of this is happening within a very few short seconds......buzz buzz.....again, you tell yourself to open the door....
there is a uniformed man with his cover in his hand staring you in the face.....his first words to you are....mam......you dont even need to hear any more, which is good cause you cant hear anything but the beating of your own heart steadly slow.......your worst fear has just become a reality.......
your son or daughter.....your flesh and blood.....the child, because no matter their age, they are still your baby...that you birthed and raised to be a fine young citizen that grew up and joined the military is not coming home from this war (and we are not even techinally supossed to be at war!).....
back to my thoughts.......when the phones are down......dont be a cry baby about it.....and i am not playing blame games here, i am a victom of that myself at times.....we get so used to things a certain way and expect that they will always be that way.....and when they arent we want to pitch fits and have pitty parties.....
so the next time the phones go down......if you havent gotten this phone call followed by this, or a similar situation......get on your knees and pray......thank God that it wasnt your loved one.....and pray for the family that it happened to.....its the least we can do, as we all know that it is our deepest fear at this point in time....
this reality happened to some one is our battalion this past "down" time....we all need to spend some time in prayer for that family.....i wasnt told who they are, but that doesnt matter....it could be one of us the next time around and i would hope that this family would pray for us as well......
if this offends anyone....i DO NOT apologize.......this it the world we live in today and we all need to stop being so selfish (me encluded).....
stephen, i love you and miss you so very much.....and as always, we are praying for your safety, as well as, all of 659, along with the units that we dont know.....even though you know i do, i felt the need to tell you again that we, as a family......me, elizabeth, and all of my family and even my church back home, pray every day for you and all of our military.....you know how i feel about these deployments and the only thing that i can do to make me feel better about it is to pray......so thats what i do......