it feels like i have been away forever.....i know it has only been about a week since i last posted, but my work schedule has been absolutely insane......i made through the first week.....today i had a half day and i am off tomorrow......but then it starts all over on sunday......i work from 9:30-6:30 and though that doesnt seem bad, it makes normal life crazy.......
we all get up at 6 or 6:30, get dressed, eat and leave by 7:30.....we drop stephen off at 8 and then i drop off the girls at their daycare centers.....im done with that around 8:15.....to begin with i was going to the gym for an hour, showering and then going to work at 10, which was great......now, i dont get the time to go to the gym.....tony, my boss, decided that i will open in the morning so i have to be there at 9:30...no more gym for me, so now i normally eat my breakfast and read for those 45 mins......
stephen comes and picks up the car on his lunch so that when he gets off at 4:30, he can go pick up the kids......they go to the park for awhile then they come over and get me at 6:30.....it takes us atleast 30 mins to get home.....once there, we cook diner, eat, clean the kitchen and everyone starts getting showers and reay for bed.....by 10 i am soooo ready to pass out......
so needless to say, i have not had the time to clean my house properly or wash all the laundry and it piles up quick.....so my first day off is going to be spent, for the most part, cleaning the house.....yippie
im not complaining tooo much though.....i like my job.....i like the people that i work with and it gets me out of the house and some extra money too......
25 July 2008
20 July 2008
being that we had a "family" tragedy this week, combined with my starting to work....meals this week will be interesting.....my lovely hubby will end up being the one that is solely responsible for the shopping and the majority of the cooking.....he's not a bad cook, but a horrid shopper....so i am going to make it as easy as possible for him by using the things that are left in the freezer, that way he only has to buy a very minimal amount of stuff.....
MONDAY: spaghetti in "pomodore"(italian for tomato)sauce with sauteed mushrooms and peppers, garlic bread and left over salad from last night
TUESDAY: bbq pork shoulder(pulled) for sandwiches, mac-n-cheese and corn on the cob or fruit salad
WEDNESDAY: baked raviolis, steamed broccoli, and garlic bread
THURSDAY: strawberry pancakes, bacon, eggs and toast, with some fruit on the side
FRIDAY: again, we will do what the kids want to do for "friday night diner"
SATURDAY: grilled chops, mashed garlic potatoes, fresh grilled green beans
SUNDAY: stephen makes this grilled sausage and onion thats mixed with mac-n-cheese and then baked thing that is really good, so that and mixed veggies
BREAKFASTS: cereal, muffins, oatmeal
LUNCH: kids will eat a daycare/camp so stephen and i will probably try to finish up the last of the deli meats with sandwiches and of course some left overs
SNACKS: snacks, who has time for snacks this week....
17 July 2008
when the army messes up, sometimes they fix it
just a small piece of information that i thought i would share about carl.....after i finally got to talk to his wife and everyone else back in the states to get all the details of what was happening and what went on that night, i found out that carl was suffering badly from ptsd......post traumatic stress disorder, for anyone who doesnt know.......carl had to deal with some pretty awful things on both of tours to iraq and was having a hard time adjusting to normal life again......the time that it takes a soldier to re-integrate can range from 6 month to 18 months......they have been home for roughly 7......
carl and his wife were having a few problems and were in counseling.....he knew that he had a problem himself and went to seek help for it.....on thursday july 11th, he went to the medical professionals to get some help dealing with it......instead of being treated, he was sent away......the doctor had his own family emergency......carl shot himself the next day.......being that we are an army that is trying publicly to encourage our soldiers to seek the help they need to get through ptsd without it leaving any "marks" on their records, that is what he tried to do......
i am not blaming the doctor, we all have families and all have our own emergencies, but, the hospital could have referred carl out to some other doctor.....that is why tricare(our insurance) has a whole network of civilian doctors.....carl was given no other options, just simply told that the doctor could not see him, and to schedule another appointment......
the army, realizing their error, is giving him a full military honors funeral and have decided to promote him to e5 posthumously(he was supposed to be getting promoted soon).......though this may be something that alot of people dont agree with,i do and i am glad that they arent taking it away from him.......he was a good soldier.....he fought for our country twice, gave it his all and came home messed up.....he couldnt help that......
carl and his wife were having a few problems and were in counseling.....he knew that he had a problem himself and went to seek help for it.....on thursday july 11th, he went to the medical professionals to get some help dealing with it......instead of being treated, he was sent away......the doctor had his own family emergency......carl shot himself the next day.......being that we are an army that is trying publicly to encourage our soldiers to seek the help they need to get through ptsd without it leaving any "marks" on their records, that is what he tried to do......
i am not blaming the doctor, we all have families and all have our own emergencies, but, the hospital could have referred carl out to some other doctor.....that is why tricare(our insurance) has a whole network of civilian doctors.....carl was given no other options, just simply told that the doctor could not see him, and to schedule another appointment......
the army, realizing their error, is giving him a full military honors funeral and have decided to promote him to e5 posthumously(he was supposed to be getting promoted soon).......though this may be something that alot of people dont agree with,i do and i am glad that they arent taking it away from him.......he was a good soldier.....he fought for our country twice, gave it his all and came home messed up.....he couldnt help that......
16 July 2008
lost in life....lost in death
grey skies fill my sunny day today.....this morning was supposed to be the beginning of a good thing, i started work today, but instead it has quickly turned into a very sad day for me....and my family......and the family of so many others......
we received news this morning that a very dear friend of ours has died......he was a good kid, i say kid cause i loved like a little brother, but he was a young man....he was a ball of energy and at times had a love for life so strong that it was contagious.....dont get me wrong, he had his issues and demons just like the rest of us.....the only difference is that he wasnt always able to stop them from controlling his life.....when they would take over, he would become a person that i did not know....he would be full of anger, hate and rage.......
he was raised to believe in certain things but in "growing up" he had began to leave some of that behind him and look to believing in God.....he wasnt all the way there yet, but he was working on it......he was lost somewhere in the middle of what he knew and where he knew he needed to be......
he was a very loved friend.....i feed him, was at his side through many loves and heartbreaks.....by his side while he found his true love.....he came to our house for an escape cause he knew it was always there......he was like family......the kids loved him and he loved them......
when they left for iraq, i made him promise me to take care of stephen, and he did.....the night before we left fayetteville, he hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head.....he told me thank you for always being there for him and for everything that i had done for him.....then he made me promise to take care of his "brother".....as we said our goodbyes, i PROMISED him that i would always be there for him and that i would stay in touch.......
right now i have this overwhelming feeling of pain and quilt.....maybe if i would have made better efforts to stay in touch, maybe just maybe this tragedy would not have had to happen.......i feel that i let him down and that i did not fulfill my promise to him......that is something that i will have to deal with for the rest of my life.....
he was also a loving and dedicated daddy....he fought for his son with everything that he had in him......was still in the fight up till the time he died......he leaves behind a loving wife of only a few short months and a baby that he didnt even know that he had......his wife/widow just found out that she is pregnant.....
it is a shame that he was taken before his time......he could have been great in this world once he finally got "all the way" there......i say that it was not his time because unfortunately, he took his own life on the 12th of july......my prayers now will be that his soul will be able to find some kind of peace outside of heaven.....i pray that his wife will be able to continue to be strong and raise their baby by herself and that she will one day be able to forgive him for leaving them sooooo early so that when their baby grows up, she can tell them all the good things that there were to know about their daddy.......i pray that as she is now solely responsible for the cost of his burial(suicide is not covered by the army)that she will be blessed and that God will make a way for her.....
today, i must say goodbye to a close friend, to a brother........Carl Benjamin Lennis McCoy, you will be deeply and truly missed.....today i promise you that i will do my absolute best to keep up with your family and make sure that they are ok for you........i will always love you kid
we received news this morning that a very dear friend of ours has died......he was a good kid, i say kid cause i loved like a little brother, but he was a young man....he was a ball of energy and at times had a love for life so strong that it was contagious.....dont get me wrong, he had his issues and demons just like the rest of us.....the only difference is that he wasnt always able to stop them from controlling his life.....when they would take over, he would become a person that i did not know....he would be full of anger, hate and rage.......
he was raised to believe in certain things but in "growing up" he had began to leave some of that behind him and look to believing in God.....he wasnt all the way there yet, but he was working on it......he was lost somewhere in the middle of what he knew and where he knew he needed to be......
he was a very loved friend.....i feed him, was at his side through many loves and heartbreaks.....by his side while he found his true love.....he came to our house for an escape cause he knew it was always there......he was like family......the kids loved him and he loved them......
when they left for iraq, i made him promise me to take care of stephen, and he did.....the night before we left fayetteville, he hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head.....he told me thank you for always being there for him and for everything that i had done for him.....then he made me promise to take care of his "brother".....as we said our goodbyes, i PROMISED him that i would always be there for him and that i would stay in touch.......
right now i have this overwhelming feeling of pain and quilt.....maybe if i would have made better efforts to stay in touch, maybe just maybe this tragedy would not have had to happen.......i feel that i let him down and that i did not fulfill my promise to him......that is something that i will have to deal with for the rest of my life.....
he was also a loving and dedicated daddy....he fought for his son with everything that he had in him......was still in the fight up till the time he died......he leaves behind a loving wife of only a few short months and a baby that he didnt even know that he had......his wife/widow just found out that she is pregnant.....
it is a shame that he was taken before his time......he could have been great in this world once he finally got "all the way" there......i say that it was not his time because unfortunately, he took his own life on the 12th of july......my prayers now will be that his soul will be able to find some kind of peace outside of heaven.....i pray that his wife will be able to continue to be strong and raise their baby by herself and that she will one day be able to forgive him for leaving them sooooo early so that when their baby grows up, she can tell them all the good things that there were to know about their daddy.......i pray that as she is now solely responsible for the cost of his burial(suicide is not covered by the army)that she will be blessed and that God will make a way for her.....
today, i must say goodbye to a close friend, to a brother........Carl Benjamin Lennis McCoy, you will be deeply and truly missed.....today i promise you that i will do my absolute best to keep up with your family and make sure that they are ok for you........i will always love you kid
14 July 2008
menu plan monday
ok, so i have never taken part in menu plan monday, but my best friend leah does and it seems like it might be fun, and also a way to share some really good recipes.....so here goes...
MONDAY: burgers, sweet potato fries, corn on the cob (all grilled, of course, its too hot to cook in the house!!!)
TUESDAY: chicken wraps on spinach tortillas
WEDNESDAY: grilled prosciutto and cheese on ciaccino bread (awesome italian bread) with a side of fresh fruit salad
THURSDAY: cheese raviolis with sauteed fresh veggies in a light sauce made from olive oil and fresh herbs(my one splurge at the commissary sometimes)and of course some garlic bread
FRIDAY: we have a tradition of having "friday night dinner"(goes all the way back to me growing up) and that will be the one night that we let the kids pick were we go out to eat at, so most likely it will be some kind of pasta
SATURDAY: grilled lemon chicken salad in efforts to use up all the rest of the fresh veggies before they all go bad
SUNDAY: smoked sausage and peppers kabobs with rice and grilled Green beans
BREAKFASTS: breakfasts are normally oatmeal or cereal, till the weekends(thats when stephen does his cooking) then we will have pancakes
LUNCHES: are light, normally sandwiches or leftovers if stephen doesnt take them all for his lunch
SNACKS: snacks in our house have and will always be things like crackers and cheese, animal cookies, fresh fruit, salt free pretzel sticks, sugar free pudding
13 July 2008
insomnia is back!!!!!
yes, unfortunately, insomnia is back for me tonight.....as i sit here and write this tonight at almost one in the morning, i am wondering why now????
it has been a REALLY long time since i have not been able to sleep.....and its not because i am stressed out or anything.....i have nothing on my mind......because, in fact, i have great news.....jeremiah has been cleared through efmp for his asthma and can now come to live with us.....so within the next few months he will be here, of course after we take that 12 hour trip back to get him and then the 12 hours back here.....so i have no stress......im super happy......i cant wait till he is here.....i have had his room waiting for him almost since we got here.....alex's too for that matter.....and i am sure that he is going to love it here.....our neighborhood is full of little kids his age that he can run and play with.....the only thing that he is not going like is that there is no karate here, but im sure that he will find something else to take part in....
i also have a great chance at getting a job soon....which that is a major task in its self here.....very few jobs as is, and none paying all that great....plus, once people get jobs here, they normally dont leave them till they pcs.....so when the px said they were hiring, i applied for all the positions that they had.....i have been called for one so far and am supposed to be getting a call from the store manager this week.....its not going to be a great paying job, but it will be something for me to do being that we do not have our own dentist that i could assist for!!!
the one and only thing that i can even think of that might(and that is a very tiny might)be keeping me from sleeping is that i do have to make the trip to germany to face david for the first time in over three years......im not really worried about it, because i believe that this is going to be a good trip.....the adoption paperwork will be getting signed and the girls will be taking stephens name soon.....david and i have been able to have decent conversations lately, so im not worried.....i guess that the only thing about this trip that is worrying me(and possibly hiding out in my subconscious) is what am i going to do or how am i going to feel if he really does want to see the kids and spend time with them......
and the kids are doing great.....boo just bought her own bike with her very own money.....we would have bought it for her but she told us, so matter of factly, that a bike cost alot of money and that she wanted to earn it herself.....so she did small jobs around the house and yard to earn 45 dollars......it only took her a little over a month to get it all.....she makes me sooo proud sometimes......
kee is still a little rotten monster......but she is doing good.....she is turning out to be a very good little helper(in her own ways).....everyday at lunch, she helps me get stuff from the frig and the cabinets.....she thinks that we have to have pb&j sandwiches everyday......she likes to help, or tries to help wash dishes.....that normally leads to having to mop the floor, but she tries.....and she loves to put away her clothes.....which is good being that she also loves to play dress up and will change her clothes about 100 times a day......her new favorite thing to tell everyone is that "i good helper" or "i do it all byyyyy myself"....
well, this was just supposed to be a short post to mention that i have started, or seem to have started the path back to insomnia, but it has turned into an update of the fam......we love and miss all of you......i will be emailing some new photos soon, so keep a look out......
love, peace and blessings to all!!
it has been a REALLY long time since i have not been able to sleep.....and its not because i am stressed out or anything.....i have nothing on my mind......because, in fact, i have great news.....jeremiah has been cleared through efmp for his asthma and can now come to live with us.....so within the next few months he will be here, of course after we take that 12 hour trip back to get him and then the 12 hours back here.....so i have no stress......im super happy......i cant wait till he is here.....i have had his room waiting for him almost since we got here.....alex's too for that matter.....and i am sure that he is going to love it here.....our neighborhood is full of little kids his age that he can run and play with.....the only thing that he is not going like is that there is no karate here, but im sure that he will find something else to take part in....
i also have a great chance at getting a job soon....which that is a major task in its self here.....very few jobs as is, and none paying all that great....plus, once people get jobs here, they normally dont leave them till they pcs.....so when the px said they were hiring, i applied for all the positions that they had.....i have been called for one so far and am supposed to be getting a call from the store manager this week.....its not going to be a great paying job, but it will be something for me to do being that we do not have our own dentist that i could assist for!!!
the one and only thing that i can even think of that might(and that is a very tiny might)be keeping me from sleeping is that i do have to make the trip to germany to face david for the first time in over three years......im not really worried about it, because i believe that this is going to be a good trip.....the adoption paperwork will be getting signed and the girls will be taking stephens name soon.....david and i have been able to have decent conversations lately, so im not worried.....i guess that the only thing about this trip that is worrying me(and possibly hiding out in my subconscious) is what am i going to do or how am i going to feel if he really does want to see the kids and spend time with them......
and the kids are doing great.....boo just bought her own bike with her very own money.....we would have bought it for her but she told us, so matter of factly, that a bike cost alot of money and that she wanted to earn it herself.....so she did small jobs around the house and yard to earn 45 dollars......it only took her a little over a month to get it all.....she makes me sooo proud sometimes......
kee is still a little rotten monster......but she is doing good.....she is turning out to be a very good little helper(in her own ways).....everyday at lunch, she helps me get stuff from the frig and the cabinets.....she thinks that we have to have pb&j sandwiches everyday......she likes to help, or tries to help wash dishes.....that normally leads to having to mop the floor, but she tries.....and she loves to put away her clothes.....which is good being that she also loves to play dress up and will change her clothes about 100 times a day......her new favorite thing to tell everyone is that "i good helper" or "i do it all byyyyy myself"....
well, this was just supposed to be a short post to mention that i have started, or seem to have started the path back to insomnia, but it has turned into an update of the fam......we love and miss all of you......i will be emailing some new photos soon, so keep a look out......
love, peace and blessings to all!!
10 July 2008
weirdness surrounds me
ok, seriously.....everything and everyone around me today has been acting completely nuts, including the kids, which says alot in its self cause they are nuts all the time......
it started with weird dreams last of baby boys and what i am calling the david monster....i mean in this dream i was/had a little boy--shocker there, everyone knows that all i had was girls till i got re-married.....and then somehow david came into the dream all nice and normal, but started morphing into this funky demonic like man that ATE, i repeat, ate my son......what was that all about?????
then weirdness with the kids throughout the day like the apple pie leftovers being eaten and thrown in the trash before anyone was awake(kee did it, though she said she didnt) mixed with weird phone calls that i really didnt need/want to have, but that all ended well....
weird little odd ball fees on my bank account that dont even equal a dollar for some kind of international fee, we live in italy for the love of God, alot of transactions are international(most ask the bank tomorrow)!!!!!!!
very weird dinner conversations, not the normal "how was your day" stuff but rather a very slow motioned version....weird crap on the t.v, this cartoon had a jellyfish looking thing growing out of his head and it wasnt sponge bob!!!.......
weirdness with the t.v. itself such as, if i take the t.v. from the living room to any one of the other rooms in the house, the channels are all different, if they come in at all.....
i am hoping that tomorrow brings about some kind of a normal day, otherwise i might just pull my hair out!!
it started with weird dreams last of baby boys and what i am calling the david monster....i mean in this dream i was/had a little boy--shocker there, everyone knows that all i had was girls till i got re-married.....and then somehow david came into the dream all nice and normal, but started morphing into this funky demonic like man that ATE, i repeat, ate my son......what was that all about?????
then weirdness with the kids throughout the day like the apple pie leftovers being eaten and thrown in the trash before anyone was awake(kee did it, though she said she didnt) mixed with weird phone calls that i really didnt need/want to have, but that all ended well....
weird little odd ball fees on my bank account that dont even equal a dollar for some kind of international fee, we live in italy for the love of God, alot of transactions are international(most ask the bank tomorrow)!!!!!!!
very weird dinner conversations, not the normal "how was your day" stuff but rather a very slow motioned version....weird crap on the t.v, this cartoon had a jellyfish looking thing growing out of his head and it wasnt sponge bob!!!.......
weirdness with the t.v. itself such as, if i take the t.v. from the living room to any one of the other rooms in the house, the channels are all different, if they come in at all.....
i am hoping that tomorrow brings about some kind of a normal day, otherwise i might just pull my hair out!!
09 July 2008
20 dollar car
yes, that right i did say a 20 dollar car......when we first got here, a captain in stephen's unit had three cars and was trying to get rid of one of them.....he was trying desperately to give it away for free, but because it needed a new windshield nobody would take it......until of course, we came a long......for 20 bucks we bought what i think was once a very nice and shiny blue 1988 honda civic.....it is currently a dull grayish color......that 20 year old car had no radio, the heat barely worked(good thing it is summer), the air stoped working probably 10 years ago, the back passenger side door would get stuck and you would have to bump it to make it open......the power windows still worked, at their own pace, of course and screamed out this painful whinny noise in the process......the seat covers are so thin at this point that it doesnt take much to tear them......the power mirrors need alittle bit of help to get into place and the rearview mirror will never stay where you put it.....but it had over 300,000 miles on it and mechanically it was still fighting the good fight......everyone likes to laugh at our 20 dollar car and joking says that they are going to call X from mtv to Pimp My Ride, especially when they see me at the commissary and i have to use a prop stick to keep the trunk open.......we have been driving it since april now and unfortunately,we now must get rid of it......yesterday, everything electrical went out.....no brake lightss, no turn signals, dashboard readings, even the headlights dont come on anymore........stephen said that it is not worth the cost to repair the electrical stuff so we have found it a new home in a junk yard.....it is sad, but i have to admit that i am going to miss the 20 dollar hooptie, and so today i say goodbye.....
p.s. you have to admit though, that hondas really are built to last, being that everything under the hood still ran perfect.....the poor car just couldnt hold up any longer!!!
p.s. you have to admit though, that hondas really are built to last, being that everything under the hood still ran perfect.....the poor car just couldnt hold up any longer!!!
06 July 2008
how we spent the fourth!
ok, so what makes the fourth the fourth???
backyard cookouts
family
friends
cakes and goodies
kids laughing
games being played
fireworks
apple pie
fun
we learned that it doesnt take all that to celebrate the fourth.....not cause we didnt want to have all that, in fact, we had planned on attending a huge 4th of july beach blowout that would end with fireworks......the only thing that would have been missing was the family......but come to find out the fireworks were cancelled.....at first i felt like it wasnt even worth going for because there was going to be no fireworks, but after a conversation with elizabeth, i changed my mind.....
she thought, at first, that the fourth was just a day that the army got off work.....poor kid didnt realize that it was the birthday of our country.....and i guess as her mama thats my fault because it never dawned on me that she didnt know, it was the biggest birthday party of the year......so, anyways, we explained it to her and decided that we would go out to the beach for the rest of the day to hang out and say happy birthday USA!!!
keegan stops playing longing enough for a quick pic
no time to look at you mammy, im having too much fun
elizabeth takes a break from sand digging
back to digging and playing
sunset over the american beach in tirrenia
backyard cookouts
family
friends
cakes and goodies
kids laughing
games being played
fireworks
apple pie
fun
we learned that it doesnt take all that to celebrate the fourth.....not cause we didnt want to have all that, in fact, we had planned on attending a huge 4th of july beach blowout that would end with fireworks......the only thing that would have been missing was the family......but come to find out the fireworks were cancelled.....at first i felt like it wasnt even worth going for because there was going to be no fireworks, but after a conversation with elizabeth, i changed my mind.....
she thought, at first, that the fourth was just a day that the army got off work.....poor kid didnt realize that it was the birthday of our country.....and i guess as her mama thats my fault because it never dawned on me that she didnt know, it was the biggest birthday party of the year......so, anyways, we explained it to her and decided that we would go out to the beach for the rest of the day to hang out and say happy birthday USA!!!
keegan stops playing longing enough for a quick pic
no time to look at you mammy, im having too much fun
elizabeth takes a break from sand digging
back to digging and playing
sunset over the american beach in tirrenia
04 July 2008
happy of july!!!!
4th of July Graphic Comments
happy birthday usa!!!
everyone else, i hopw that you have a great, wonderful, and safe fourth of july......i am not real sure what we are doing today.....this will be our first holiday away from family and friends.....so i will post tomorrow with all the details of what/how we spent the fourth.......in the meantime, i hope you all enjoy yours.....love, peace, and blessings!!
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