11 August 2008

battle of the babies

ok, so its not really a battle, rather just a constant topic of discussion.....it seems that everywhere i turn, everywhere i look someone is either having a baby or just had a baby.....i turn on the tv and there are babies......even this morning when i logged into blogger, there were babies pasted all over my dashboard......

stephen doesnt help the situation either.....he will make comments like, " lets have a baby" and then in the same breath, say "im sorry, im just having a moment".....we have four kids already.....would it be nice to have a baby with my husband, yeah, but im not trying to be the brady bunch.....

so here is the real battle.....i think about, actually, i think about it alot.....but i am sure that for me, it is just that biological clock ticking away.....well, it more like pounds away, and with every passing second it seems to be screaming to me that my time is running, you arent getting any younger and you need to have babies.....and then sometimes i feel as though my ovaries are yelling about how they want to be used up before all their eggs dry up into little hard crusty raisins......

is it just because i am getting older....because next year i will be 30 and i see all these other women having babies and being happy about being pregnant at 35 or even 40.......or is it just that i really want another baby but am just simply to afraid to do it again.........

the battle of buldge was easier than this battle of the babies!!!!

3 comments:

Leah said...

umm, i thought that you weren't supposed to have any more babies??? DOCTOR"S ORDERS!!! ok i'm a little pissed at both you and stephen..you really want to have another baby and risking losing your life!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? your children need their mother, your husband needs you and your family and friends need you.

Melissa Barlow said...

I say go for it...I went through the same thing your going through now and that's how we got Arya :-) If it's true what Leah says then I say get checked out completly first...the older you get the more risks there are so younger is technically better when it comes to having babies. I don't think the urge ever goes away I think it just gets quiet after a while of not being fulfilled. It's always scarey no matter how many kids you have but the fear seems to go away after the baby is born.

stace said...

mel--the thing is, is that i can still get pregnant with no problems, but my body cant take delivery anymore.....kee just about killed me, and thats not me being a drama queen....leah was there, thats why she knows.....and i am getting older, and its not really worth the risk anymore, but since my body doesnt know what my brain does, i do think about it.....anyways, how are you doing.....i havent heard from you guys in like forever.....hope japan isnt getting you down and that you and the kids are doing good.....love you and miss you